Just keep in mind that while being truthful to each other is crucial, it should also be done in a manner where the truths can land in a safe place. This requires both parties to learn how to approach and handle uncomfortable topics in tactful ways so that you’ll feel secure and encouraged to be honest with each other continuously in the long run.
Being in a relationship shouldn’t mean neglecting your own hobbies, wants and needs. In fact, setting time aside to do things for yourself and have proper self-care, can help to promote healthy boundaries and the overall health of your relationship. As relationship expert and author of That Which Doesn’t Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places, Charlie Bloom, reminds us – our responsibility to provide for our own well-being is as important as my responsibility to others.
It is essential to recognise that conflicts are part and parcel of relationships, but not all conflicts have to escalate or leave significant damage to your relationship. The key is to know how to manage and resolve conflicts in a healthy and respectful manner. Here is some general advice to keep and remember when you’re all riled up in an argument:
If what you need sometimes is a little “me time” to recharge yourself so that you’ll have enough energy and mental capacity to further nurture your relationships, do it!
Listen – as much as you have strong convictions about something, your partner’s views deserves to be heard as well.
Make sure you’re fighting fair – keep the focus on the issue at hand and respect the other person. Don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changed.
Don’t attack someone directly – use “I” statements to communicate how you feel. E.g. instead of “you make me feel bad”, try “I feel bad when you…”.
Ask yourself what role you played in this issue – instead of reacting to your partner with an emotionally-charged response, take time to think, reflect, and develop insight into why and how this issue arose in the first place. Continue Reading…